you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
