we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
