I accidentally had phone sex last night
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
