i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
