Are we in a gay sports bar?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i love accidental penises.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
