You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
