he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
