Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
how does that bad decision feel?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
