JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
