I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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