North Korea, Best Korea!
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
