She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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