No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
