i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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