this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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