when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
