Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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