he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
