well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
