I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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