In America we eat man semen.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
