I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Randomize
