just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
