does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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