Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
i out mim tonsoeep
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