all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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