She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
