I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
