he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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