If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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