If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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