Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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