she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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