You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
