Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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