I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
