even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
