Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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