these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
