You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
