she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
