I'm pants shitting drunk right now
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
