Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize