yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
