He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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