p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
