Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
