He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
