i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
