i don't like sucking hair
420 ftw
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
