I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize