mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
false alarm. still invincible.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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