Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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