I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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