You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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