oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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