well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
