All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
