16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Drake has all the answers
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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