speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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