He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
