scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
