Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
