Betty ford says i'm here all night
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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