Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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