She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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