but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
