My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
