What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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