I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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