Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
