there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
i believe in u and ur pee
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
